Friday night started off as a girl’s night, with my neighbour and her friend and a couple of glasses of wine, to help take the edge off a long and tiring week.
My neighbour Julia, made the comment, “Fuck! All the girls we went to school with are married, engaged and/ or have children and we spent 15minutes in the bottle shop trying to pick the best and cheapest wine”… This made us all laugh as they are 25 and I am 26.
Recently as in the same weekend that the above scenario occurred, a high school peer of mine, got married and all I could think, was FUCK, what the FUCK am I doing with my life?!?!?!?!!?! You know how it is when you have those freak out moments and think that all your dreams are slipping through your fingers and you cry, then you cry some more, well that was this day. But then I got over it and realised I am FUCKING awesome at my job!! Yes, I may seem like I have a big ego, but c’mon we all know that there is something we are good at!!
But it’s true, this year, I have really thrown myself into my job and I have seen such an improvement in my documentation, communication and my overall interactions with the children I teach. And this, my dear friends, is what I’m focusing on as I am not expecting anything this year.
I have found that by throwing myself into my job and kind of into my studies, I am feeling better about what my future may hold as I have a great career that enables me to constantly reflect on myself as a human being and teacher.
So if you are at the same stage in your life as I am, then look at your career and figure out what direction you want to go. And yes this will definitely suck as you will feel sad, when you think about what you wanted and how it wasn’t meant to be. BUT!!!!! once you have realised your goal, you will start to remember the Sex and the City scene when they sing the song ‘I am woman’… Yes that is a great cover of the song as it reflects all the qualities of a woman in general and the women featured in that movie, however the following link is a better version of the singing Judith Lucy is fantastic and so are all of the singers.
So to all of you incredible and inspirational women out there, it is OKAY to cry when you realise your dreams did not come true… But don’t just cry, get out there and create new dreams!!