Being a Woman

Dear emotions,
I FINALLY booked in for a pap smear!! I waited 2hrs to see my doctor just to get the referral and yes, I, of course went to a book shop and bought 2 books, during this time.
As I waited I started to feel really tired. I hadn’t had a great sleep, but this was like a really strong urge to just sleep on the REALLY comfy chair in the reception area (big shout out to short street medical centre for those comfy chairs!).  Needless to say I could feel that my stomach was quite bloated which meant… my period would start in a day or 2.
So I finally had my turn to see the nurse and she was great! so funny but like old school funny (I think she was in her 60’s). Obviously she asked me if I had ever had a pap which I answered with a big fat NO (yes people, I should have had one 3yrs ago but those ads of women crossing their legs made me terrified!) Continuing on, she explained the process. I was like okay I can do this! I lay there on the not so comfortable patient bed things and she put the instrument to open me up. When she started to use the swabbing instrument I cried out in pain, the nurse stopped and handed me some tissues and asked if I was okay. We then tried again. It was so painful that I cried even more.
My doctor came in and asked if it was because I wasn’t feeling comfortable and I replied “no, it just hurts a lot”. Instead of doing a pap smear procedure she did an internal and realised that it was muscular, when she couldn’t go in very far.
Needless to say, I left the medical centre feeling sad and my body was in a little pain. The  nurse was fantastic and so was my doctor. But my body was just saying a big HELL NO to a pap smear. Being a woman is hard!!!
Now that I am home, I’m feeling exhausted and yes the worst part of all I ordered maccas through the ubereats app as  I just cant seem to find the energy to move.
This feeling of tiredness seems to be taking over my body so  I shall say goodnight.

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