Recently my boyfriend and I broke up. Well if I’m being honest, he broke up with me.
I of course was devastated and shocked that he had come to this conclusion.. However I guess that’s how life works. The breakup conversation led to us deciding that we still wanted to keep in contact with each other. So we did this for about 3 weeks, until I just said to him that I felt like we were in limbo and we had to decide what we were doing. As we talked, I felt so good and I honestly believed we were going to work things out as we had both reflected on the reason for our breakup. However when push came to shove and I asked him last night if he was in our out, he said out. From this, I stated that we had to break communication as it was too hard to move on, if we were still talking.
Needless to say I was devastated and honestly, I still am. this feeling of being vulnerable is the worst. I’ve been so sad all day and I hate it so much! I hate feeling weak! I hate feeling like I gave someone else the power to make me feel sad! I hate the fact that I thought, wow this it, he is the one! I hate the fact that I allowed myself to open up to someone!
BUT the only way to be in a relationship with someone is to allow them to see your weaknesses and who you are truly are. Now the question is, when will I be ready to let a man see who I really am? Will I ever be ready? Will my dream of having a family actually eventuate? Or should I just give up?
These are points that I will probably figure out sooner, rather than later. But do I really want to know the answers to these questions?