I forgive you, I forgive you, I don’t forgive you

One of my greatest flaws, is how forgiving I am. No matter how many times someone hurts me, I will still forgive them. I always believe that they will change. That is what happened with the guy, let’s call him  S, in my previous post.

Although everyone said that S was a piece of shit, I always believed he would change. No matter how bad the situation got, I would always give in. It’s because I don’t like hurting people and I believe people deserve chances.

Recently I got back in contact with a guy from my teenage years and I told him about this situation and about a text message that S sent me about one year ago. The text message went something like this…. “I don’t care who you see or who you fuck, I don’t want to know about it. But if I see him, I will break his face. I’m not saying I want a relationship with you, but I see you as mine and no one else should have you”. My friend basically explained it to me. S didn’t believe I was good enough for him, but felt he was too good for me. He liked the fact that I was chasing him, even if he was in a relationship with someone else (which I actually didn’t know about, at the time).

So after he sent me the text the other day, telling me to sort my life out. I rang my older brother and gave him S’s number and told him to please tell him to stay out of my life. I did this, because I knew that if S called me in 6 months time, I wouldn’t be strong enough to ignore the call (I just hate being mean). My brother rang him and told him quite politely to stay away from me. What unfolded next, was so shocking. It told me that I didn’t really know who he was.

S kept calling me and I finally answered. he went crazy! Screaming at me like a crazy guy. He called me a dumb slut, but meh, like seriously when it comes to me sticks and stones babe. However, when you say, “I’m gonna rape your mum” it becomes a whole new ball game. The word crazy doesn’t begin to describe how  I felt. It was like rage! I absolutely lost my fucking shit and I told him, that he was so done and never to contact me again.

So ladies, if a person ever treats you like shit, you need to stop it. I waited 4years to stop this vicious cycle. In the end it was my fault, because I allowed him to treat me like this. I gave him that power and no one deserves to have that much power over you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s