I hate you! I hate how sad I get when I realise I don’t have someone checking up on me. I hate knowing that I’m too scared to use tinder or any dating app, for fear of rejection. I hate knowing that I’ve made stupid choices, that have led me to be in this state. I hate knowing that my dream of having a family, is slowly disappearing, I hate those moments when I get sad and I tell myself that I’m not allowed to cry. I hate knowing that I’m telling my friends that I’m focusing on my career, instead of wanting to date because I’m not ready to see anyone. I hate knowing that, sometime, I don’t know how to make myself happy. I hate knowing that I’m too scared to sleep, for fear of having nightmares after watching Pretty Little Liars. I hate the fact that I no longer want to look at wedding dresses. I hate knowing that I’m always tired from doing nothing.
And that people, is what is running through my mind because my period will start in approximately 4 days. I become so overwhelmed with all these emotions and I can become irrational, to the point that one night, I lost my way in the city and had an emotional breakdown, thinking I would have to sleep on the street.